Dating again after being dumped
For the fifth time I tried to calm myself down and convince him our relationship was worth it, I cried, hoped, and ultimately felt miserable. Everyone gets dumped at some point in their lives; sometimes it is more of an amicable split – but one person tries to hold on to the relationship a bit more – and other times it is a full on “I’m ditching you.” Being dumped can be one of the best things that can happen to a person; it allows you to grow and realize your mistakes, tells you what you are really looking for in a potential mate, and helps you focus on your goals as well.
Questioning whether you were completely out of touch with reality, you search for red flags you may have missed, look for everything you could have done wrong, and long for answers.
First, however, you have to realize this fact: you can’t be dumped.
Nor can you be rejected, thrown away, or abandoned. But as the relationship unfolded, you may have also begun to realize that the mutuality of commitment, your vision for the future, or your core values were polar opposites. You haven’t been dumped…you have been set free from someone who was not meant to be your life partner. It’s time to pull up the courage—because you need this quality to get over any remaining wounds.
But when a breakup comes on out-of-the-blue, it’s usually not because of anything you did wrong.
Abrupt endings—that happen when things never seemed better, and without any discernible warning signs or discussions about his relationship concerns—usually have more to do with a guy’s emotional unavailability or fear of commitment. There’s so much more you want to know and all those things you forgot to say.